Mannn oh man, oh man. It sure has been a while. Like a month? I don’t even know. It’s a quiet Thursday here and I’m popping in after my 30 min workout while Jules naps upstairs (WIIIIINN).
The biggest news recently is…I FINALLY WEANED JULIAN FROM NURSING. It’s been a little over 2 weeks since our last session and overall, its been SO GOOD.
After almost 17 months of using my body to feed and comfort another being, my body is now my own again. And really it was way longer than that if you count pregnancy when I was sharing my body with Julian to grow him. While I am glad to have myself back to…myself.. I am also really proud of this whole experience.
I am so happy to say that I waited until I truly felt it was the right time for both of us before I ended the nursing and I feel like because of that, it was completely painless on both sides. While I was ready to be done nursing at 12 months for real (I was only half seriously done at 6 months which was my original plan) I hung on because I knew taking that away from him sooner than he was ready was NOT going to work.
I also feel like a weight has been lifted off me in a way. The further I get from the birth and early months of Julians life the more I am able to look at things clearly. I struggled. Hardcore. My whole life became consumed with helping Julian feel better so he might stop screaming, nap better, sleep better, stressing when I felt like I wasn’t doing something right or made the wrong guess with his schedule or something because I knew it’d be hell to pay and I was already so. tired.
On top of that I could never get away stress free because at first he needed to feed so often and, conveniently, refused all bottles ever. Later I was his source of comfort, even when nursing for food became less important with the start of purees and solids. I nursed him to sleep right up until a few weeks ago because it was honestly the only way I could get him to to calm down enough to get sleepy, otherwise he’d just sit in his crib and scream. Somehow now he goes down after a few books and some rocking (can I get an AMEN?!).
But now that nursing is no longer a part of our routine I feel free of those very hard baby days and seeing him still be so happy and thrive without it makes me feel like I have such a big kid on my hands now. We’ve fully entered into the toddler stage of life and I can close the door behind me on the past. Granted I look back now and mostly see rainbows and butterflies from the first 12 months or so but I know how rough I felt at the time.
My little squinty bunny on Easter
So that’s the biggest news, I think. Other than that we’re just really looking forward to the warm days of late spring and summer now that we got a few days in the 80s under our belt. It shouldn’t be too long I hope! We’re plugging through the weeks keeping busy at the gym and the occasional music class when I can get us out the door in time.