I am alone in my kitchen. Keurig is heating up.
Ain’t that the TRUTH!
The beast is still sleeping. He was awake from 345-530 last night. Usually when he wakes up at night I lay awake listening to him on the monitor but I don’t go in, trying to let him figure out how to go back to sleep on his own. Sometimes, like last night, he cries too hard and I have to go in to comfort him. We’re on week 2 of this horrible cold, too, which was on my mind. Even I am not fully back to normal yet and I can cough/blow my nose/clear my throat, so I feel really bad for Julian.
So I waited a full hour of him fussing, crying, yelling and went in at 5am. He was so congested he could barely breathe while nursing so I sucked out his nose with the bulb, gave him a dose of tylenol and went back to nursing. I finally put him sleeping back into his crib at 5:40, then crawled back into my own bed and slept til 730.
We’re in a tough phase right now (when are we not!) with his teething, this
fucking cold, and something I can only assume is extreme frustration related to developmental growth. (He’ll be playing with a toy on the floor then suddenly spike it to the ground, throw it across the room, kick it and scream because he can’t quite figure it out. Anger, much? Yeah. By the end of the day he is so over his life and so am I. )
But I feel really lucky right now that even though I likely have a longgg day ahead of me of a really mean and cranky toddler that at least he is catching up on some much needed rest right now and we have literally nothing that we have to do.
I did a ton of cleaning yesterday when Julian was a better mood (yay housework). I have no other kids to take care of. And I didn’t have to wake him up after getting him back to sleep to get us dressed and ready so I could take him to daycare then go to a full day of work. I am lucky and I know this. *prayer hands emoji* I have no idea how working moms get out the door in the morning and then go to work after getting a less than stellar night sleep.
I also have been thinking about what life would look like with 2 kids. One of my girls from our little moms group circle is pregnant with #2 and her daughter is a month younger than Julian. I love it. I love the idea of a snuggly little newborn. But I have to remind myself its not going to be the same 1 on 1 experience I had with Julian because…I have Julian! Those quiet, hours long nursing sessions on the couch? LOL. Getting up with not 1 but two kids in the middle of the night? LOL.
I am also petrified of colic and acid reflux and two kids who don’t nap.
So its a lot to think about. I think I have a while until #2 is a real possibility anyways thanks to crazy breastfeeding hormones. I swear the postpartum period has been harder on me than all of pregnancy and birth combined and while I am desperate to be done with it, I really don’t want to do this all again either.
I’m hearing a little bug waking up upstairs so I am off to get him. Wish me luck today and good luck to all you out there reading this. We all need prayer hand emojis, right? Thanks for listening to me gab away in my rare, free moments.